5 mistakes first-time managers make when they share feedback

Many managers find giving feedback one of the most challenging and unpleasant aspects of their roles. Critiquing someone’s performance can be an emotional and anxiety-inducing experience, particularly for first-time managers who may lack the training to provide constructive feedback effectively.

Here’s the reality: no one is “naturally” good at giving feedback. It’s a skill developed over time with guidance and practice. As a new manager, mastering this skill is crucial—not just for annual performance reviews, but for ongoing, real-time conversations. Leading companies are increasingly moving away from annual performance ratings in favor of immediate and continuous feedback. Real-time critiques have become a daily norm for managers.

Fortunately, you can improve your ability to provide consistent performance feedback by becoming aware of common mistakes and learning how to avoid them.

Mistake 1: Not winning trust before providing feedback

A manager who provides feedback without first establishing trust is like a director who fails to set the scene before their actors take the stage. Without trust, your direct reports will struggle to hear, accept, and act on your feedback.

Think about the times you are receiving feedback from your own boss. If they seem indifferent to your career goals, give scattered feedback without direction, and try to micromanage you, would you readily accept and act on their feedback? Contrast that with a boss who takes the time to understand you, shares feedback in the context of your aspirations, and gives you the space to grow and learn. Which scenario would make you more receptive to their feedback?

Solution

As a new manager, your first priority should be to get to know each of your team members, including their career aspirations and goals. During your one-on-one conversations, you can ask questions like, “What goals are you hoping to achieve in your role over the next six months?” or “How do you see your role evolving over the next year?” Some team members may be focused on getting promoted, while others might be eager to develop skills for higher-profile assignments.

Once you understand their context and how you can support their development, you can begin to align your feedback with their goals. For example, you might say, “I know you want to take on more responsibility, so this is an area where you need more development. One thing you can improve on is…” In these two sentences, you shift from being a critic to being a coach. Showing your direct reports that you care about their growth through your feedback will further build their trust in you.

Mistake 2: Avoiding or delaying feedback

Given the discomfort of sharing feedback with others, it's understandable that your first instinct might be to avoid it. When faced with the need to give negative feedback, you might hope the issue will resolve itself or assume it’s easier to wait and deliver your feedback during a structured annual review.

However, delaying feedback or waiting for a situation to improve benefits no one. By avoiding these conversations, you’re doing a disservice to your direct reports and undermining the overall success of your team. Providing timely and constructive feedback is essential for growth and development, both for individuals and the team as a whole.

Solution

Be consistent with your feedback sessions and integrate them into your routine, rather than waiting until there is an issue to address. For instance, when assigning a new task to a direct report—whether it’s a brand-new project or one with higher stakes than usual—schedule "pulse check" sessions throughout the assignment. These sessions can be planned for the end of the assignment or when the employee reaches specific milestones. 

For example, if an employee's goal is to win two new accounts, you could set up pulse checks after the first three meetings, during the negotiation phase, and at the closure stage. These scheduled debriefs should involve discussing what went well and what could have been done differently, starting with the employee's perspective followed by your feedback. By regularly engaging in this exercise, you’ll establish a consistent pattern for giving and receiving feedback in real time.

Mistake 3: Overdelivering feedback … at the wrong time

As the saying goes, feedback is a gift. However, too much can be overwhelming. As a new manager, it's crucial to discern whether a piece of feedback is worth giving or if it might do more harm than good. This skill is particularly important when receiving and conveying feedback about your direct reports from others.

Consider this scenario: your team is managing a conference for your company. At the end of the first day, you overhear your supervisor complaining about certain aspects of the event. Without stopping to evaluate if the feedback reflects a broader issue or is just one person's opinion, you decide to relay it to your team raw and without context. This approach can alienate your team members and undermine your effectiveness as a new leader. Instead, take a moment to assess the feedback, provide context, and deliver it in a way that is constructive and supportive.

Another scenario which is unfortunately still a reality for a lot of employees: their manager has waited for the end of year review to share all the constructive and negative feedback they have on their mind. Too much criticism, too late after the fact, this is the most efficient way you have as a manager to demotivate your direct reports and have them lose the trust they had put in you.

Solution

The key is discernment. It’s up to you to decide whether to share the feedback you receive from others with your direct reports. When you receive feedback, remind yourself of your team's goals and filter out any recommendations that won’t help them improve or achieve those goals.

Consider the example of receiving feedback about the sessions on day one of a conference running over several days. Several attendees complained about the rushed ending and lack of opportunity to ask questions. This feedback, indicating a consensus among multiple people, will help ensure a smoother event in the future. Therefore, it’s worth sharing this feedback with your team. On the other hand, if one person comments that they “didn’t like the topic of a session,” you might choose to keep that to yourself. The random opinion of one person may not be constructive and could distract your team from making impactful changes.

Additionally, timing is crucial when delivering feedback. While prompt feedback aids learning, there’s a caveat: when emotions are high or energy is low, it’s even more important to filter and focus your feedback. For example, day one of a three-day event is not the time for a detailed debrief. Instead, focus on one or two things that can be improved for the next day, such as technology issues, ensuring people can find the display booth, and making sure all speakers adhere to the schedule. A week later, after gathering all feedback from audience reactions, satisfaction surveys, and other measured outcomes, a detailed debrief will be more useful. This delay helps eliminate blame and provides time to brainstorm solutions together as a team.

Finally, waiting for the end of year review to talk about your personal feedback on the conference would be a big mistake. Your team members need to hear constructive feedback while the memories are still fresh and while they can take into account for upcoming events in the year.

Mistake 4: Failing to follow up

Even if you give feedback at the right time, use the right words, and deliver it from a place of trust, it’s all ineffective if you don’t follow up. When you give feedback without circling back, your team members may lose motivation and be less likely to implement your suggestions. Additionally, without follow-up, you might not realize that your team is still struggling or that the direction you suggested isn't working for them. Regular follow-up ensures that feedback is not only received but also acted upon, and it allows you to provide additional support and adjustments as needed.

Solution

For feedback to be effective, it needs to be consistent. After providing feedback, regularly check in with your direct reports to see how they’re progressing with their development. This can be as simple as asking, “In our last check-in, we talked about you trying a different approach. How is that working for you?” When your discussions are grounded in context—connecting the dots between feedback and the person’s goals and aspirations—it fosters a supportive conversation that promotes ongoing learning.

Remember, feedback isn’t just about criticism. Positive messages show that you recognize your team members’ efforts and help reinforce trust. For instance, you might say, “You’ve been working on refining your visual representation of customer data, and it’s very noticeable! You’re ready to be part of the next presentation to the division head.” By balancing constructive feedback with positive reinforcement, you create an environment that encourages growth and confidence.

Mistake 5: Reacting in the wrong way when receiving feedback themselves

For first-time managers, reacting in the wrong way when receiving feedback can be a significant mistake. Firstly, it sets a negative example for their team, signaling that feedback is unwelcome or threatening, which can stifle open communication and trust. Secondly, it can hinder their own growth and development by missing out on valuable insights and perspectives that could help them improve their leadership skills. Lastly, it can create a defensive or hostile work environment, discouraging team members from sharing honest feedback in the future.

Solution

Listen actively and seek to understand the feedback fully before reacting. You can ask clarifying questions like, “Can you provide an example of what you mean?” This shows they value the input and are committed to understanding and improving.

Don’t forget to take a moment to reflect on the feedback before responding. This pause can help you process the information and respond more thoughtfully.

Finally, thank the person giving you the feedback, even if it’s difficult to hear. This shows respect and appreciation for your direct report and the courage they may have needed to share that feedback, and encourages a culture of open communication in your team. Always try and view feedback as an opportunity for growth rather than a personal attack. This mindset shift can help you remain open and receptive to feedback.

If you can follow up on the feedback by taking concrete steps to address it and then sharing your progress, this will go a long way in demonstrating your commitment to improvement and will build trust within the team.

Awareness of your mistakes is just the beginning—mastering this essential managerial skill requires repetition and practice. Although it may feel uncomfortable or overwhelming at first, once you’ve honed this ability, it will yield significant benefits throughout your career.

More and more companies are equipping themselves with continuous feedback solutions such as Popwork to help managers and employees regularly share feedback in a constructive and positive manner.